I never liked asking for help, bad experiences in the past had lead me to believe that asking for help was a pointless exercise. So I got really good at finding ways to keeping my anger, fear and frustration under control, often by applying logic and rationality. It worked, if not with at times great effort.
Till the day came on which I just couldn’t rationalize or control my anger, I had run out of ideas and came to the conclusion that the time had come to face the music and try to ask for help. Like the past attempts, this latest one also didn’t lead to me getting the help I needed.
I got wrongly diagnosed and was told to attend a course somewhere next year. This left me feeling like I reached out and someone just ripped my arm off and was beating me with it instead of grabbing it to help. It took me great effort to keep reaching out till I found someone who listened and correctly diagnosed my “condition”, especially since waiting lists for psychological care in the Netherlands are very long.
In the weeks that I to wait for help, I decided to start working on sculptures. My idea was that it would keep my mind of things but I actually ended up finding a way to express some of the things I felt and had experienced
The Arm is made from a tree root and the hand was formed using a wood framework and woodclay. It’s mounted on a concrete base. All material was salvaged from a demolition site close to my home.